Valium-Sparks and Fire

Days floated in and out for a while. How long, I’m not sure, and I didn’t care. I was warm, safe, and full. I wasn’t required to stay where I was. I just didn’t want to go anywhere else. I learned eventually that the woman’s name was Alma. She didn’t ask my name, and neither did John. For a while I didn’t give it. She took to calling me little bird, which was irritating. Eventually I gave in and gave her the name I wanted to be called. It’s a silly name, really. My parents had given me a perfectly good name, but it didn’t seem to fit the person I now was. I hadn’t really changed all that much, but I knew that nothing would be the same again. It’s odd how that happens sometimes. One day you know exactly how the rest of your life will look, and the next you’re being thrown over a wall for a fate worse than death. Alma and John were kind to me and seemed to enjoy having me living with them. I didn’t seem to be a burden for them, so when I was healed, I stayed. I didn’t ask to stay, and they didn’t kick me out. My pallet just moved to one side of the room instead of in front of the fire.

I gave myself chores to help out the best I could, and discovered things about myself that I didn’t know before. It turned out that I had a knack for making anything burn. I could start a fire out of the smallest of pieces of charcoal. John laughed one day when he walked in to see me bent over the fireplace blowing on the tiniest bit of splinters I could find. “You named yourself quite well, Pheonix. Fire seems to be a gift for you.”

It made me smile, which was something new for me. I didn’t smile often, and couldn’t remember the last time that I had. Certainly it was before They threw me out. Anger was common, and so was hunger, but not smiles. I was a bird risen from the ashes. Fire made me happy. I could create it from nothing. I could control what it did and did not burn. I could pick it up with my bare hands and it did not burn me. It became my friend.

“Watch, John.”

I picked up the tiny bits of burning tinder and began rolling it along my knuckles. The warmth tickled my skin and my smile grew. The flames jumped, rolled, and slid along my hand, sending prickles up my spine. It consumed my attention as I played with the sparks. They glowed in my eyes, and all else disappeared.

The look on John’s face when the flames gave out sent shivers down my spine. “Alma! Alma! Come quickly!”

I’d scared him, and I knew it. I thought I had done something fascinating and innocent, but the look he gave me said differently.

Alma came flying in the room, breathless. “What! What’s wrong, John?”
He nodded in my direction with a flick of his head. “We’ve found her. We didn’t know it, but we did. Watch. Pheonix, can you do that again?”

I picked up the tiniest flame I could find in my little fire, and began rolling it around my palm. It slowly began to grow until it covered my whole hand. A small smile of pleasure creased my face. This fire was my friend. It had a life of its own, even if it would be for a short while. It was like small dancers spinning on my fingertips. If I was doing something wrong, I didn’t know it. It was right. My soul seemed to find peace and joy as long as the fires played. John and Alma stared at me, then at each other. Alma gave a small nod at John, which he returned.

“It’s time for her to meet the others.”

“Past time, Alma. How could we have not seen it before? It’s her.”

My head popped up and I smothered the flames in my hand. “Others? What others?”

John ran his fingers through his hair, and rubbed his temples. “The element players. It’s a long journey that I was hoping to not have to take. We’ve been waiting for thirty years for the last one, the fire player, for a long time. There’s so much you need to know, and not much time for you to learn it.”

My eyes darted between the two, not liking what I was seeing or hearing. They didn’t like the idea of my playing with fire or of taking me to “the others”, whoever they were. I was in for a long, hard journey. I could see my new home crumbling around me as Alma left the room. She was pale and looked like she would pass out, and John slumped into the hide chair next to the fire.

“I have a story to tell that you will not like, I’m afraid. It is going to change your life again, and Alma and I’s as well. You might as well get comfortable. This is going to take a bit of time, but it is something that you need to know. It just might keep you alive.”